Saturday, March 26, 2005

its been a long long time since i got to actually go online. actually while i'm typing this i'm not online since i don't have broadband anymore. but i don't actually feel the craving of going online. i'm currently working hard on achieving my goals. so studying is rather high on my priority list. nothing else should be more important. i sound like a geek i know. lol. but i need to catch up and make up for lost time. i wasted too much time last year. i can't believe that i would be affected by so many things. but after all, i'm human. anyone who ever have all these problems would feel the same. but whatever. its all over now. i'm getting back some friends, but have also lost some. i'm not really referring to anyone in particular. but i'm glad this is a turning point to my life. many people actually mature after all these ordeals. i think i did grow up quite a bit. some people now treasure the people around them more, but some are still taking them for granted. when is everyone actually going to wake up and realised the whole story? what is the whole story? no one can give a real account on what is actually happening now. i changed my opinion on so many things. i made someone my friend again. after four years, i can see the true colours of so many people, be it good or bad. everyone seems so close on the surface, but everything seems so different underneath. many became real, many became fake. who's true and who's not isn't so obvious anymore. people can treat you nicely, but speak behind your back. real hypocrites. what am i thinking now? i'm not sure about my thoughts at all. i'm unsure about myself too.



the above isn't referring to anyone in particular but i need to speak it out. you may know, you may not. you can choose to think about who i'm talking about, you can choose to keep quiet. but why should anyone care what am i saying? i learnt this line from a song, "whatever they say, i don't care." it actually makes me happier not thinking about unhappy things. let people say whatever they want. no one can please everyone. same for me. if you hate me, you can continue to do so because i don't care. you can backstab me, i don't care either. its really in the person who is speaking, what you choose to say, you should be responsible for it. words are big time offenders. they often offend people and not knowing how. i was once in dilemia and cannot think about what's right and wrong. but now everything seems clearer. i used to harp over my problems but i've learnt how not to. i've become a happier person who now have great friends. if you think you belong to this group, you do.



okay! enough of the kinda sad stuff. i'm now happy! yippee! its a week's time to our south division campfire. many brownies will be attending. it really made me think of the time when i was in primary five and i went to our school's campfire. till now i can still remember that day. the theme was cooee but i can't exactly remember the meaning of that word. we practiced the gateway a couple of times and it was totally great. its so cool! scouts and guides remember to come to our actual one to see it for yourselves. plus the sec 4 dance, which is our dance. totally cool. hahaha i'm like praising ourselves but its really a fact. lol. haven't gone to a campfire for ages! the last one was probably in august, i think acsb. quite an impression still since i performed with five other current sec 4s and had such a great experience. unfortunately, this year can't go as much anymore. my mom has banned me from going. the reason: bad results. but actually i don't really bother anymore. i wanna do well for o'levels. i think its pretty impossible for me to do well in school exams since they're always killers. what's the point of setting the paper so hard? when everyone does badly it really kills our morale. but i'm not going to care. i'm just gonna practice the ten-year-series since they are all o'level questions and should be rather similar to the actual o'level.



oh yes everyone, let me present to you my new layout!!! wheee is it nice? please give me comments! i really thank all the people who continue tagging even though i don't update at all. i'm very sorry to the people who actually check back frequently to see if i updated yet! but never the less, i still thank everyone for visiting my page, even though i only update once in a blue moon and check the tags not so frequently. recently i see many people who love kpop coming to tag! thanks people, really. i hope you all like my previous layout! i think it was one of my best. you guys don't actually know me yet i'm really curious how you all get to visit it. you all came from search engines while searching for ftts and boa? it happened that the title of my page is ftts and boa so it's probably listed up high on the list so you all managed to visit? lol. thanks once again.



to rachel. i'm so so so so so sorry that i took like a million years to reply to your letter! i hope you received it already. i made it up to you by writing quite alot more right? haha. i'll make it up to you some more in the next letter after you reply me. yay! everyone thinks that hearty thing of yours is great. and also many people say that you are so crazy and so free to do this for me. but really, we are besties! so who cares about them. lol. tag!! i enjoy reading your tags so tag more often. i know i can't read them frequently but i do try to get my hands onto the computer as much as i can. not to surf, but actually come to my blog and read the tags. it keeps me going on and to keep it. thanks for everything. =)



really, now i'm keeping my blog just to put my layouts. i know i don't do them often but i try to change maybe within a month or two. but during the o'level period i'm probably abandoning this blog for a while. like 3 to 4 months? that's really madness. but whatever la. its been great typing a new entry cuz i haven't done it for a long time! feast your eyes with boa and your ears with over~across the time~!